If the only kind of ‘remote’ you ever encounter is the one being passed to you when Downton’s about to start, you might want to consider a trip to one of these secluded hideaways. To get away from it all – and properly, not to a beach with twenty other sunburned couples all erm, getting away from it all – you need proper isolation, which these remote beauties have in spades. Leave your iPhone, grab the most interesting person you know and make your way to one of our top five hidden hotels…
Nestled in the lonely plains of the Utah desert like a glass ‘n marble paean to the gods of minamalism, Amangiri is a undoubtably a stone-cold fox in the looks department. However, like that slightly aloof but very beautiful girl you always fancied at school, she doesn’t like company – the protected valley is utterly secluded. You can see dramatic rock formations spiking the star-speckled galaxy from every glass wall – the 34 suites were designed to blend seamlessly with the landscape. Bliss out in the gleamingly luxurious spa and then spend the evening gazing up at your very own celestial cinema. Cocktail in hand, natch.
Bloomfield Lodge, Cairns
To reach Bloomfield Lodge – which, by the by, can be found in the Daintree Rainforest near the Great Barrier Reef in Queensland – you have to: charter a plane, drive for hours through the dusty straits of the endless Outback (yes, I’m making this sound more dramatic than it probably is) and then cruise down a river. Mission? You bet. Worth it? Absolutely. You’ll get those deserted beaches, lush rainforests and lonesome fishing and sailing all to yourself. Tasty.
Podada de Mike Rapu, Easter Island, Chile
As remote destinations go, you don’t get more intriguing than Easter Island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Intrepid adventurers through the ages have made it their mission to see the the heaven-gazing monolithic stone figures whose origins still remain a delicious mystery to this day. Posada de Mike Rupu is reached by making a five-hour flight over the Pacific, after which you’ll be treated to a whole lotta luxury – think pristine views over the ocean, eco-friendly touches and glamorous open air Jacuzzi’s – oh, and they offer fifteen custom crafted excursions, like the Moai route.
Hotel Artic, Greenland
If you like the cold, you’re a.) insane and b.) going to love this one. After a five-hour flight from the normally-temperatured United States, you’ll land in Kangerlussuaq in Greenland, from where you’ll catch another flight to the hotel, which is on the edge of the magnificent UNESCO-designated Ilulissat ice fjord. Here’s what you need to know: It’s remote. It’s cold. You can ask for a room with an ‘iceberg view’. Whilst that’s pretty cool, it’s still not tempting me – I’m British, I spend most of my year freezing my face off, ta.
Kokopelli’s Cave, Farmington, New Mexico
I’m pretty sure if cavemen lived in digs like this, we probably wouldn’t have invented iPhones. Or electricity for that matter. Who could be bothered? Kokopelli’s Cave is a one-bedroom cave home 70 feet underground carved from a 65-million year old sandstone formation. It’s not exactly slumming it – it’s fit for a flintstone with fancy carpeting, stylish furniture, a kitchen and a waterfall style shower, meaning this is very much glamorous caving. This begs us to ask the question – is Glaving the new Glamping? The jury is still out.